must....write.

Must keep writing for the sake of writing. I definitely need to get in the habit of it in order to tap into this well of thoughts. I think the thing obstructing my view of seeing my life as I see others is that it's difficult for me to be so narcissistic. I don't like seeing myself other than in my mind. I'm going to take pictures today. I'm going to read up about the arts. There's something I just haven't been able to release. I'm starting my search today.

Hanging out with Gym

Day 1: June 1st

So last night I went to the ARC to work out. I spent 30 min on the elliptical. 15 min cycling, and then another 20 min doing 20 reps of triceps extension, biceps, inner thighs, and outer thighs. I'm kinda sore today from not stretching, but I'm planning on going again tomorrow. One day on, two days off. That will be my strategy, and since I'm putting it here, I have to stick with it!

Cheers!

Will power.

It's time to take control of my life, now that I have full reign. I'm determined to start exercising and taking better care of my health. With that being said, I'm going to start on June 1st. It doesnt' mean that this week is my last week to behave in a gluttonous way, but I should be preparing myself. This blog is going to be a way to record my daily activities. I really need to get in the habit of doing this if I want to make any progress.

Let's do this.

De Ville

Can I really be this cruel? I think lately I've been such a jerk, so lazy, so dependent, and so ungrateful. I don't want to be like that, but after my actions lately, it seems that I am. It's regretful to see myself in this new light, one which I just hate to see. Is this my way of transitioning out of this relationship? I don't want it to be bad, but I feel like I need it.

I can't help you like you help me.

The music's gone

I haven't listened to music lately. Nothing new. Not much old. I just haven't been doing it. It's made me feel sad. It was the easiest thing to be inspired by, but I've chosen not to be inspired lately. It's a flaw I wish to fix. I've gotta move away from this place.

Julie Ruin - Apt. #5

Don't have a cow.

I don't know why it is, but I've got such an aversion to working out. I mean, I imagine it in my head, but I realize there are other things I'd like to do with my time. It's sad that I've allowed myself to laze around like this for so long. I've been watching the travel channel and they have this show regarding the best restaurants to pig out at. I can't even imagine that. I think I'm trying to disgust myself with all of these visuals in order to get my mind off of food. I think about it all the time. It's exciting to me. I like food, I can't help it. However, I like healthy food. Definitely not heart attack food.

My goal over the summer has been to go to the gym more often in order to get into shape. I think after the feat of college, this is my next goal. Well, after getting a promotion that is. I need to think of a strategy for this summer. I forgot that it's hard to depend on yourself. The amount of stress you go through can be insane, but it's a transition I need to experience.

I just had to pause to watch the show. A burger with lard on it? Fucking disgusting. I had a dream about chicken last night, and I really don't want to eat it anymore. Yay for aversions!

A wardrobe epidemic

Lately, my life has been a bit more redundant than usual, which I've accepted due to the brokeness of college life. What I mean by this is that I tend to now wear the same clothes over and over because of my ability to get away with it. I'm able to wear my favorites because I only see people once or twice a week. I decided it was time to take out all of my old clothes, and I had to be firm about this. If I didn't fit it anymore, if I didn't hold any sentimental value to this, I would have to throw it in the pile.

That pile became big. I've done this a few times already, and my closet has become a barren wasteland. I forgot how much easier it was to give away than to fill back up. I noticed that living in San Diego, in such a big beach community, I've become so much more self conscious. My fashion sense has dwindled. This here is a skin community. The more the better, and I can't compete with that. SDSU is the epitome of SD culture, at least, what we see all the time.

This woman inspires me again and again.