Rock Bottom

I've completely hit rock bottom. There aren't many regrets that I have, but I guess one of my biggest ones has come back to bite me in the ass. I'm so devastated, and completely heartbroken. I don't want to be alone, and this is the worst time to be alone. Birthday, Christmas, New years, the times for joy and celebration. I just can't believe it's happening to me, and I don't want it to. I try not to be selfish, but I can't handle it this time.

But I fucked up, and I guess I have to deal with the consequences. There's no easy way out of this. No one to hold my hand, no one to support me. How long am I going to keep this up? Utterly heartbroken, and it can only go downhill.

I mean, do I fight for it? Is there any sense in doing so? I've never fought for much, and I'm willing to do this, I just don't want it to be for naught. You either love me or you don't, and I can either try to find out, or passively wait for an outcome that may or may not happen.

I have nowhere to go, and this doesn't make my life any better. Sorry this post is such a downer, but my heart hurts so much and I'm running out of tears.