Disturbia

For the first time in my life, my dream attempted to tell me something. Before I analyze this and decipher its cryptic message, I need to write it out before I forget.

First I had a dream that I got all of these spider bites, but it was only in my dream. My hand was swollen and bumps formed, even through the gauze I wrapped it up in.

The most disturbing part was the scene when I went to school. I had Ken drive me to the counselor's office and drop me off. I made my way through the maze that is school, stopping to say Hi to friends who were graduating. They were more like acquaintances, but I knew them well enough to say Hi. As I strolled to the counselor's office, I went straight to the receptionist and asked for Dr. Nu, stating the appointment we had. At that point, I did not feel important at all. I knew something was going wrong in this dream. Dr. Nu was on vacation. 3 days before school starts, he leaves for his vacation. Leaving me and my academic hopes and dreams in despair. I became desperate. I just needed any academic counselor to listen to me. To give me some advice. I told the receptionist my problem and all I know was that she wanted me to tell her. However, she started helping other people while I was spilling my guts about my academic worries. I remember saying something about how I'll be fine in my classes, I just want to know what to do. All of a sudden, she said I was getting ahead of myself, questioning my intellectual abilities. I never questioned my intellect so much as to think that I would fail. That's never been an option for me but....I got stuck at the last but.

Soon after, she told me that this was enough. I had to stop with my incessant chattering, and I was harassing her and she would get a restraining order against me. I was so angry. How can you insult someone in such a way and then call security on them for questioning their intellect and then question their sanity. I begged. Isn't there anyone who can help me? She sent me to another room, and it turned out to be counseling for those interested in ROTC or some facet of the army/military/navy/etc. She gave me a book of classes to look through. At this point, I saw some old friends from high school and fully explained my predicament and anger, yet all they did was say a simple hello. We met up with other friends and eventually all parted ways, not saying much, but I remembered a lot through their body language.

At that point, I wanted to go back to that woman and throw her book at her and say, "Here's your shit back. You've been absolutely no help at all. I fucking hate this place. I hate SDSU. "

I've never woken up with so much anger in my life.