Economics

I feel as though I have so much potential to thrive in this economy, yet I'm failing every day to make ends meet. I truly wish more opportunities would arise for me, and I'm in a completely dead end job. I wish it weren't dead end, and at one point it wasn't.

Every time something opens up, I've been ineligible in some way, or just don't have enough experience. I've been working to put myself through college, and I did, yet I can't find a single damn job to at least pay off the bills I have. It's so frustrating, and even more frustrating that I have no one to turn to except you. At least I can get this out somewhere. I refuse to let anyone see me weak, and I guess that's the biggest reason no one will know. I'll cry if I talk to them about it, and I don't want to burden anyone with that. I just need this week to go by, and fast.

Hideaway

I've been having these dreams in which I'm fighting something or someone, yet I have to pull as much energy as I can from myself in order to continue. I've never felt so weak, and it feels so real. Fighting your demons can be so tiring, and I feel as though it is a reflection of what I think of myself. Lately I've been telling myself, "I'm stronger than this, I'm stronger than this" in order to get through my thought. For it is not the world that scares me, but it is the way I think about it.

Keep fighting the good fight Jennifer. Don't give up.

I'm listening to the Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack and I'm really enjoying it. I like Karen O's quirkiness and the fun she embodies in all of her songs. She always amazes me, and I'm grateful to have been able to see her perform life.

Karen O - Worried Shoes